Scene: a yard sale, where there is a bookcase for sale that is exactly like one we already have.
Players: me, and some guy with a poor idea about how to price things at a yard sale.
Hanna: Hi! Is the bookcase still for sale?
Seller: Oh, this lovely library? It was handmade in India, you know. We paid $1,200 for it. Handmade in India.
This is bad news. Nobody tells you they paid over a thousand dollars for something, reminds you twice that it was handmade in another country, and calls it by a fancy name if they are planning to sell it for $20 at a yard sale.
Hanna: How much are you asking?
Seller: It was handmade in India, and cost us $1,200. We want $600.
At a yard sale! And let's not forget that I already have the same bookcase at home, and know he is full of crap.
Long pause.
Hanna: Did you get this at Ikea?
Longer pause.
Seller: Yes.
Scene Two: Halloween. My porch.
Players: Me, some kid dressed like a pirate.
Kid: *silently digging around our candy bowl picking the best stuff out*
Hanna: That's a cool sword!
Kid: *looks up like I just said "that's a cool princess costume you have on"*
Hanna: Cool sword?
Kid: It's a machete.
As in- it's a machete, you idiot. The "you idiot" was just dangling unsaid in the air between us.
Hanna: *snatches candy bowl away from snotty pirate* One Butterfinger per customer, pal.
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4 comments:
Ahhhhh ha ha ha ha ha! I just died a bit inside from trying to stifle my laughter. I cannot believe that yard sale putz! I hope there were 50 potential buyers standing around to overhear your exchange.
I'm so glad that I know you because I can totally picture which "face" you'd be giving these people. You're welcome to try my mean face... I hear it reduces people to tears.
COULD YOU PLEASE POST MORE BLOGS!!!!! thank you.
Are you serious?! This really happened?! Hanna, I love reading your posts--hilarious as always!
--amanda
I see lots of those deluded-about-the-price ads on Craigslist. then I see them again.......and again.
He probably sold it for $20 at the end of the day.
Love your posts.
Love you,
M.O.M.
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