I love the library. I always have. My best friend and I used to spend forever playing on the elevator in our local library. By "forever", I mean as long as we could before the librarian yelled at us for pushing all the buttons and keeping the door open on the second floor. When I move to a new city I run out like a nerd and get a new library card right away. I love how the air smells like newsprint, that people speak in a whisper, and the dewey decimal system. If my library was a person, I would make out with it.
However, lately I am not feeling the love back.
Last week husband, son and I went on vacation. I had a fantastic time, but only managed to hold out a few days before running off to rendezvous with the local library. Like every affair, this one ended badly: I contracted a disease from the library. For real. The guy before me in the computer line had a cold, sneezed on the keyboard, and I caught it. I got sick on my vacation because I couldn't resist the lure of the library.
Also, the library in the neighboring town thinks it is too good for me. I went there this afternoon and brought my book up to the counter...
Octogenarian Librarian: This book is new.
Hanna: I know, I can't wait to read it!
Repetitive Librarian: But, it's new.
Hanna's Head: You just said that. I thought you had to get some sort of advanced degree to become a librarian.
Hanna's Mouth: Right. Yes. New.
Crazy Talk Librarian: You can't check it out.
Hanna: Oh, it's just for reading in the library?
Elitist Librarian: Only people who live in this town can read that book.
What does she think I'm going to do with the book? Burn it for heat? Color on all the pages? Has my town, a mere three miles away, been deemed so unsavory that the residents no longer have access to the Joint Free Public Library? Did I miss some sort of forced illiteracy vote? Is the plan that their town with fancy mansions and rolling green hills hoards all the knowledge while my town slides into anarchy?
Nobody tells me what I can't read, so I just shoved the book under my shirt when she turned around.
Just kidding. But I do think the library should send me some flowers to make up for its recent bad attitude.
3 comments:
Hi! I'm Eva's friend Christen and I'm a librarian!! I'm super sorry about your craptastic library experience. Not that I work at your library... but I hate stupid library employees like that!! I would have taken the book, too and then just put it in the drop after I read it. But I'm kinda of a library bad ass...
Sorry to hear that--what town was this??? I've had similar experiences, but in PA. I've been told I am the nicest librarian ever!
--amanda
Does she plan on asking for an ID if she sees you reading a "restricted" book?
Is she going to rap your knuckles if you dare to read it?
Turn you in to the library police?
M.O.M.
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